So mommyhood is no joke, especially with a newborn, especially with a newborn that is nothing like your first newborn. My first born had her moments and I had mine along with her, but looking back she was a dream. My second born is a bit different. He is cuddly in the most awful way possible. Let me add that I am by no means a cuddler...not even with my own kids. Yes, I am awful, go ahead and judge me, but it's the truth. So my second LOVES to be held, day and night. Some may find this cute and endearing, I find it hard to deal with. Most days I only get to eat one meal and it's because my husband has offered to hold GB and I tend to only go to the bathroom once a day and that's if I am lucky. I have a bunch of other complaints, but who wants to hear those, right?
Yes, I signed up for this, yes this is my life, and no I would not trade it for anything. It really is better than going to work, in my opinion, even during the difficult times. I wish moms were more honest about how hard it truly is, but I guess I never was. Or I just decided to focus on all the good and forget the bad. Any which way I will tell you now it's HAAAAAARD. I told my husband I never felt like a failure until I had kids. Nothing is more terrible than a screaming/hurting baby that you can't help. No matter what you do or try it doesn't work and the kid (and you) are left sobbing comical crocodile tears, dancing around on the back porch, in the dark, walking in to spiderwebs while on the phone with your husband who is off trying to have fun.
I don't want sympathy, I don't want lectures about how bad I am, I just want to send this out in to the world hoping that maybe it will release the negativity and bring in some positivity.
And yes, I did find time to write this as my babe lay in a rocker with my iPhone nicely placed above his head so he won't cry. I am the mom that uses technology to soothe my child instead of me doing it. But really, there is only so much swaddling, swaying, shushing, side laying, sucking you can do in a day.
Oh and Harvey Karp, you can bite me.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
So it's been awhile since I posted anything. My greatest apologies, I sort of had some stuff going on!
On June 25th we became the proud new owners of a baby boy. A 9 pound 2 ouncer, 21 and a half incher (holy God how did I carry such a big kid?!). And WOW! are boys different from girls. The biggest difference is the diaper situation. Gross is how I describe it. He was circumcised which made it red and sore and just painful to even look at, let alone think of what it actually felt like. And they pee on themselves. Poor Gabe has peed on his head at least twice now, once in his eye. The second time my genius son learned to move his head so he hit the back of it! And both times this happened he was serving up some soft serve poo. Needless to say it was a MESS. Pee and poo everywhere. Oh yeah, I went there...poo talk in the first paragraph. GB has also managed to poo ON THE WALL twice now. He has a pretty good shot, so I can only be but so mad. Ok, recap, flaming red penis, poo shoots and pee hose, plus the all disgusting belly button. Diaper changes scare the crap out of me with this kid. With the girl you just go do a wipe down and call it a day. SO.MUCH.EASIER.
But then we have a sleeper on our hands. (For the most part. He hasn't been sleeping great at night, but we think that has something to do with constipation.) He sleeps almost all day only waking to eat or do acrobatics with his boy bits. He is a pretty chill baby, so different than CJ. She was always a pretty good baby, but NEVER this calm. Let's just say Carter acts like me and Gabe acts like Marc. Thank the Lord for that. There is no way our household could handle three of me. HA! He is also insanely cuddly, something Car was not and is not. And another difference, he takes forever and a day to eat. GAWD is it annoying. I know, I know, I should savour the time we have together while he is eating and enjoy him at this age...but who the hell wants to be up eating for long periods of time at 3 am?! Not I said the Momma Bear. My first born sucked the hell out of the bottle, burped, and passed out. My second born sips, takes his time, burps IF he feels like it, and might pass out if he's feeling it at that moment. Crazy kid. And really this is how he is with every feeding, not just at night.
Overall all though both my kids are great. They are super cute (and I have confirmation from lots of people! I am not completely biased. HA!) and super awesome. It is a lot of work with two, I mean, I guess it is. Marc's parents stayed with us the first week and his sister Lor stayed with us this past week. So we haven't had to be parents to two for very long. Yesterday afternoon was my first time alone and luckily nothing horrible happened. Both kids were fed, changed, and cuddled when needed. Yes Carter *may* have fallen off the chair and maybe Gabe had to scream for a little longer than usual when wanting to eat, but no broken bones or blood, and the house is still in tact. Go me! YAY! I am as prepared as possible for the chaos that will be our family, which means I am walking in to it blindly and naively! HA! I find it best to not know too much when it comes to parenting, just go with the flow!!!
I am glad we had the kids close together in age. Carter is so cute with him - tries to feed him, put the pacifier in his mouth, rub his head and gets VERY concerned when he is crying. Yes, she also whacks him and roughly tries to pick him up, but it's all out of love. She has yet to just openly be mean to the guy. We actually joke that she is going to be the force behind the duo and beat up anyone that messes with her brother. Her jealousy has come out a bit, if I am holding him she suddenly wants to be held and she wants more alone time with me now than she did before. Carter Jean is fiercely independent and tends to play alone most of the time, she still does that, but wants me near. We try to praise her when she is nice to Deuce or when she is playing alone really well and that does seem to help.
And when it gets really bad, we just play Sesame Street for her and all is right in the world!
My parting words are that we are doing really well and are really happy. I am blessed with an amazing husband that helps out so much, amazing family that comes to our rescue when needed, and two of the god damn cutest kids this side of the Mississippi! In the words of Ben Harper (cause how could I leave him out) "with you I am blessed".