**I think this is when he requested new parents but no one listened!**
My baby boy, my precious, darling, 9 pound 2 ounce baby boy is officially one. He completed his first mission around the sun successfully. We are very proud of the guy.
I can't really put in to words the feelings I have about this baby growing up thing. As a parent you know your kids will grow up and you want them to, but a part of you will always see them as chubby faced babies, wrapped up in a swaddle blanket. At least I do anyway.
Somehow I just knew that he would be a boy. My boy. My son. And although I have four brothers I can honestly tell you I HAVE NO FREAKING CLUE HOW TO RAISE HIM! He is so different from my daughter. He has so much strength and aggression. He just...goes after stuff! He never sits still, never just colors, never just plays. He climbs, eats crayons, tumbles, falls, rolls over, all boy. BUT he is also very sensitive and sweet. He's my cuddler. My little love bug. To me, he is perfect.
I didn't always feel this way. In the hospital he was a DREAM!!!!!! We actually had to wake him to feed him! He didn't cry too much, didn't fuss, just slept. Even when we brought him home he was pretty awesome.
Until the day Marc left for DC for the weekend. Gabriel decided this is when he'd test out his lungs. And he tested them. He started screaming and I don't think he stopped for about four months. It was terrible. I felt terrible. He felt terrible. Marc and Carter looked at us like we lost our minds. There were days when I felt guilty about having a second child and not really wanting him. I now have days when I feel guilty about having those feelings. But it was what I was experiencing at the time. Everyone told me the second baby is great, so much easier than the first, I'll know what to do. I didn't. I didn't at all. I was 100% lost with this one. I couldn't help him. I couldn't make him feel better. I could not get him to stop crying. There were some dark days then, but shockingly I still wanted to be a SAHM. Go figure.
And then one day....
HE BECOME A DREAMBOAT! A big ol' lump o' love. He just turned it all around and decided it was better to smile than cry. And he's been that way ever since. Don't get me wrong, he has his moments, but for 99% of the day he smiles. And lemme tell ya, that smile will get him out of a lot of shit, mark my words. Who am I kidding, it already does. I will be that mom that is still taking care of him at 30 because he is so darn charming.
My mini mushface is super cute, super lovable, and super awesome. Even though he and I battled, we're in a good place now. I hope it stays that way for a long, long time.
Gabriel Benjamin, you fill me with joy. Even if you are a wimpus!