Monday, January 23, 2012

Momumentary - The K. Wish Edition

Momumentary is BACK!

I decided to feature one of my good friends, Kellye, for this go round.  In life you sometimes get the greatest of surprises and becoming friends with Kellye is one of mine.  We have a mutual friend, Lisa, that introduced us.  Lisa, by the way, is a great friend match maker.  I'm not sure how or why Kellye and I clicked so quickly, but we did.  I guess it's cause we have similar views on things, similar backgrounds, and we are both wicked sarcastic.  Like the kind where you have to say, "Was that too soon?" or "Did I go too far this time?"  One of the things I appreciate most about our friendship is she'll call me out on my bullshit, debate with me if she doesn't agree, and we walk away still friends, never angry.  At least on my end.  For all I know she could have been cursing me up and down to her husband.  And I'm ok with that.  To sum it up, I think Kel is pretty freaking awesome and I absolutely loved her answers.  Side note, she wrote an acceptance speech along with the answers.  Gah, she kills me!

I must also note that our husbands get along very well.  This is huge because if a husband doesn't like someone, he won't be so willing to hang out with them, which means you won't be so willing to hang out with them.  So when everyone gets along we can sit and sing kumbaya together!!  Which the four of us have done exactly zero times.

And now let me introduce to you, the one, the only, Kellye Wishard.

1. Please give a quick bio about yourself (your name, husband’s name,
kid’s name/future baby’s nickname and your job, ages welcome but not
I'm Kellye, I like warm baths (But because water in Round Hill, VA is so expensive, a single bath is more than the GDP of most African countries, so I don't take them very often), caffeine in all forms and spending time with friends and family.  I've been married to Jason since June 2008.  He's 32.  I'm a bit of a cougar.  I just turned 35 (gasp!), I have a 13 month old girl, Kenley. This June, JB (junebug) will round out the family.  We don't know JB's  sex yet, but we will in a few days.  I've been a SAHM since November.  so I've been on both ends of the spectrum of working mom vs SAHM. And if you don't like sarcasm, we probably can't be friends.

2. What is your favorite part about being a momma?
EVERYTHING!  But I guess experiencing that all-consuming love that people talk about - that has to be what heroin is like.  It's an unparalleled high.  (*Editors's note-I promise to warn you if the show Intervention is planning to come to your house!)

3. What is your least favorite?
I sort of hit the baby lottery with Kenley.  I have minimal complaints.  But maybe the inability to pick up and go whenever, wherever I want is a bit of a drag sometimes. We're schedule people, so making sure she is fed, napping etc is pretty important. We've cut out of many events to get Kenley to bed on time. 

4. What is a guilty pleasure of yours?
Trashtastic reality tv.  Real Housewives of any city!!  (*Another editor's note: check out Bayou Billionaires, Kellye and I were live texting the premiere episode!)

5. Best advice ever given to you?
Go to bed angry. Yes, I said it.  Go to bed angry.

6. What advice do you give to new moms?
There's so much to share with new moms, but I guess the most important thing is this: Things will not go according to plan.  It won't happen in the hospital and it certainly won't happen at home.  Just go with it.  It doesn't mean you don't love your kid or that someone else is a better mom than you are.  For example, I've seen a few friends really struggle with breast feeding.  In full disclosure,  I knew that we would be formula folks.  It was a complete flip from what I always thought growing up, but it was the decision that worked best for us.  I see friends beat themselves up over breastfeeding.  The kid suffers, the mom suffers, everyone suffers.  If you tried, gave it your best shot and it just didn't work, it's okay.  Some women just can't do it.  I'm not saying give up as soon as it doesn't work, but there does come a point where you have to wave the white flag.  And I hate to see any woman feel like less of a mom because it didn't work out. But what I hate even more is one mother trying to make another feel inferior because of it.  You wanna fight me on my decision not to BF, that's cool.  You'll lose, but it's okay.  But you lay off the mom who tried and couldn't make it work.  So that's why I say "Just go with what works for you and your situation. Screw everyone else." That goes for holidays, feeding, sleeping… anything.

7. Favorite memories of your kid?
Well, she's only 13 months, so they all rival each other pretty evenly.  Everything is a milestone.  But just the other day, as I held Kenley, I was talking to someone else. I was  looking to the side.  She put her hand on my cheek and turned my head back towards her so she could give me a kiss on the lips.  Oh, you want a pony?  Done.

8. Favorite memories of you and your husband?
Just last weekend, we were reminiscing about our early days together. We have lots of fun times in the bank. But my all-time favorite memory is this one: Kenley was about 6 months old. I'd just gotten home from work, Kenley and Jason were on the bed playing as I changed out of my work clothes. I came out of the bathroom and joined them on the bed. Jason and I were flanking Kenley.  It was five minutes of squeals of delight and laughter coming from all three of us.  I took myself out of the moment to realize this is everything I knew I always wanted.

9. What hopes/dreams do you have for your kids?
Too many to put here.  I want them to be strong, kind, happy, giving, understanding, funny, smart and a friend to everyone they meet.  I want them to be better than me.

10. If you had a day all to yourself, what would you do?
Is it wrong to say "Lay on the couch and watch tv/movies?" I would love to say, I'd go out and meet friends, go to museums, be all adult and cultural.  If I had 2 days to myself, maybe that's what I'd do.  But with just one… yea, guilt-free laziness. (*Yep, another - LOVE LOVE LOVE this answer!)

11. How did you pick your kid’s name?
Family tradition for me is that girls have the initials KM (Kristina Michele, Kellye Meaghan, Kylie Makenzie), so that was a done deal for a girl.  I was torn between Kendall Madison and Katherine Madison.  But Jason didn't go for either K name.  But he liked Madison.  That mattered more to me since it was for my college, JMU.  We ended up with Kenley because I found it on the internet, it sounded good with Madison and we both liked it!  If JB is a girl, we're breaking that tradition, though.  I can't keep Kenley and my niece Kylie straight. Adding another K name will send me over the edge.

12. What activities do you love to do with your family?
Anything that makes all three of us smile.  It sounds dumb, but I love to go to Costco with them.  Kenley loves the lights and "stuff" to look at.  And come on, what adult doesn't love Costco?!  And I love taking her to any place with swings because she loves them!

13. If you could go back and tell your pre-mom self something, what would it be?
Drink more now.  Hangovers with a kid are so much worse than you can imagine.  (*AMEN!)

14. Which celebrity family do you want to be friends with?
Jennifer Garner & Ben Affleck. I feel like they're down to earth, but they also probably have some great Hollywood stories. And if I could be friends with Posh and Becks just so I can see him in person from time to time, that'd be okay, too. But I don't want him to talk, because he's got a girly voice.  Just sit there and look pretty, David.

15. What do you admire about your husband's parenting skills?
He loves Kenley with his entire heart.  And everything he does is in that spirit.  But he's definitely going to be the enforcer in the house, and he's okay with that.  Turns out I'm a big ol' softie.

16. Which mom(s) has had a big influence on you?
My own mother has had the biggest influence on me.  I hear my mom's words come out of my own mouth 10 times a day.  It's so strange.  My paternal grandmother and my sister are the supporting influences.

17.  Which historical woman do you most want Kenley (and possible
future daughter) to mold herself after?  If you have a son, which
historical male?
There's something admirable in just about any women she comes across.  And I want to teach her to look for that.  But as for historical figures, I want my girl or girls to look up to strong women like Eleanor Roosevelt, Oprah, Margaret Thatcher, Harriet Tubman, Hilary Clinton, etc.  They all stood in the face of convention and changed how future women would be viewed and judged. 

As for men… oh my.  Can't think of any politicians that I'd want my son to be like because they all claim to be virtuous men but turn out to be hypocritical asshats in their own life.  Sorry for the over generalization.  There's a book called Heroes for my Son that encapsulates what I'd look for in a hero for my boy.  And maybe it's not all that different from what I'm looking for in a hero for a girl.  

18. Biggest fear about having two kids?
Logistics.  Ugh, there goes my sweaty palms again.

19. Thing you are most looking forward to with having two kids?
Watching them grow up together.  I'm nearly 6 years younger than my sister.  We're very close now, but couldn't have been less so when we were growing up.  So I'm looking forward to seeing what it's like to have kids 18 moths apart. 

20. Quick, think of a movie quote, what is it?
"Viva Danang. Danang me, danang me, won't someone get a rope and haaaaaang me?!"  That's from Good Morning Vietnam.  My sister and I can do that move from beginning to end.  Plus I just used that last night at dinner with my dad as he was recounting old Vietnam stories.  So that's probably why it's top of mind.

Here is  pic of Kellye and her main squeeze, Jason!  This, obviously, was from their wedding day. Which I must tell you was one of the hottest days that summer. Man oh man, but it was a FANTASTIC wedding!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

So, if finally happened...

The "three under three" I've been tagged with has gotten to me.  The faces that people would make and the concerned looks they'd give me is finally making sense to me.  January 2012, the month ish hit the fan.  Boy oh boy has this week been rough.

I have to say, I made it four months with three young ones before I started losing my mind.  I always thought "Gosh, my kids are so good, why wouldn't I be loving this?"  BAHAHAHAHA!  I am dumb.  My kids are good, very good, but they are young little beings that aren't sure how to navigate the world yet.  Add on acid reflux issues, colds, teeth, ear infection and trying to crawl, and you've got the perfect storm.

I had to call "uncle" and enlist my in-laws to help.  I called my mother in law to see if we could all come over.  I could barely get out the words in a cohesive manner I was so fried.  So we went and it was wonderful. Pop took the older ones out to play and burn off energy, Momma held the wee one as she slept.  I got to sit and just talk. It was great.  I felt energized and happy.  I was actually enjoying my kids again.

Then the night happened.  Gabe, since Christmas, has been waking in the night and Marc has been getting up with him.  On this particular night I thought I'd give the guy a break and try myself.  It.was.not.good.  It was so awful I can't nicely describe it.  So in the morning I called the pediatrician. There just HAD to be something wrong for this boy to still be waking.  Luckily we got an appointment that day and was able to talk it over with a professional.  She believes he has acid reflux and that's what is causing the night waking/screaming fits he's been experiencing.  He is now on Zantac and we should see results in 4-5 days. I am PRAYING it works.  If not, we could be in a very bad situation.

Harpie, the all star baby, took to sleep training like a champ.  Easiest one out of the three.  And then the ear infection.  She actually was sleeping the best yet, acting happy and wonderful, so I didn't even know she had the ear infection.  So at her 4 month check up I was shocked to find this out.  Well, she got put on medicine that upsets her tummy and causes her to wake many times at night.  It sucks, dude, hard core.  I am also pretty sure she is on the verge of crawling and she thinks night time is the right time to practice.  When I go in to get her she is not in the spot I originally put her in and she is up on her hands, legs moving hard core.  I wish she'd just crawl already!

Well, last night was the worst night yet.  Gabe did his waking earlier than usual, so I got up with him, did his routine, hoping he would go back to sleep quickly.  An hour and a half later he did.  But while I had him downstairs, Harper woke wanting to eat. So I had to go feed her while Gabe was alone in the basement.  Not an ideal situation, but what was I to do?  Eventually he made his way upstairs and tried to sit on my lap as I fed Harper.  Yeah, no way that was happening. So I tried to rub his back as I fed her.  Put her back to bed, downstairs GB and I went.

At midnight I put him to bed. Went to bed myself. An hour later Harper was up. Fed her, put her back to bed.  Repeat this every hour until 4 when Gabe also woke up.  So I took both downstairs to be awake for the day.  Marc came down to take over so I could go back to sleep.  Thank God.  I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be in charge of children without some sleep.

Needless to say, I am tired.  Oh so tired and very stressed.  I am not a nice person when I am in this state of mind.  So I am trying to be polite and just not talk.  It doesn't help that Marc is stressed at work and at home  so I don't want to burden him too much with my yippity yap bitching and complaining.  So what did I do?  I invited my Roanoke BFF to breakfast on Saturday so she can hear it.  Gosh, I am nice!  I'm taking Carter with me because I think the girl really needs some time with just me.  She tends to behave a lot better when she gets it.

Oh, I also called my mommy because that's what every adult should do when they are losing their minds.  She let me cry and boo hoo and be a complete mess. Thanks mom!  She also voluntold my dad that they are coming down this weekend to help.  I can't lie, I am super looking forward to it!  AND although it's not until July I am looking forward to our family trip to the beach with the Kozuchs.  It's nice to be with family, especially family that has small kids and everyone can help everyone else out.  Granted this means I have to lose these fat thighs and bread dough belly before the trip, but at least it's motivation!

Ugh, I hope things get better soon.  I hate not finding joy in my kids and in my SAHMness, but this week has really tested my limits.  LUCKILY this does not happen often and "this too shall pass".  I figure this blog is filled with rainbows and butterflies most of the time, so a bad rant isn't too awful.  Right?!

If you have any stories of you losing it and yelling at your kids for no good reason, please share! It will make me feel not so awful about being a monster this week!

Monday, January 2, 2012

An Open Letter to the Team, Volume 2011

Dear Team Patrouch aka Marc, Carter, Gabriel and Little Harper,

The words I type will never compare to the love I feel for you all, but I hope this letter will be a reminder of how much I appreciate you.

This past year has given us some of the best moments of our lives.  Harper Riley joined the team in August and has been giving us smiles ever since.  You, my darling, my baby, the last of the bunch, are a joy.  From the minute you came out you have been the sweetest little girl imaginable.  You smile at your big brother and all of his antics, you smile at your dad when he gets you in the morning, you smile anytime your big sister pays attention to you, and you smile as I cradle you in my arms.  I thought Gabey was a smiley one, but you have him beat by a long shot.  You're the best and I love you.  My wish for you in 2012 is that your joy continues to radiate and be infectious.  You'll grow up a lot this year, you'll eat real food, learn to crawl, possibly walk, little words will start coming out of a mouth filled with teeth.  Long gone will be gummy smiles, middle of the night feedings, jerky little kicks of your legs and hands as you learn to coordinate them.  You'll turn a year old and join your siblings in their high jinks.  I think Gabe is ready for you to grow up, he's already fascinated by you and ready to show you the world.  Good luck little darling!

Gaberdoodle, my little buddy.  Your floppy hair, your walk filled with swagger, and your finger in your nose make me a big ball of mush.  This year you learned how to walk, how to climb stairs, how to throw things down the stairs, words are starting to emerge and you are FINALLY learning how to listen to our commands.  It's hard to believe that you were just a wee little baby, still swaddled, when we moved to Roanoke and now you are a little boy.  Everything about you is big, big smile, big laugh, big hands, big meltdowns, and most of all, big cuddles.  I love, love, love the fact that you want to lay on the couch with me, under a blanket, and cuddle with me and your woobies.  I know it's too much to ask you to continue this tradition throughout your life, but promise me that every now and again, you'll hug me just like you do now.  Even if you are 30 and have your own kids.  My wish for you in 2012 is that you stay as hilarious as you are now.  And that you give up your liking of beer.  I mean seriously!!!  Why do you love that brown bottle so much???!  You'll turn two this year, talk even more, start to understand the world a little bit better, and get braver and stronger than you are now.  I see a lot of doctor visits in our future as you get bumps and bruises, but don't you worry, I'll always be here to hold your hand and kiss your boo boos.  I love you GB, with everything I got!  (PS Don't rub it in to dad that you're my favorite.  HEHE!)

Carter Jean, my eldest, my first born, my guinea pig that I haven't messed up too much.  Yet.  Wow, what a year for you.  For the second year in a row you had to welcome a sibling in to the world.  You moved to yet another new place, gave up your binkies, started sleeping in a big girl bed, and took swimming lessons. Your brain is amazing to me!  You understand so much, talk in complete sentences, comprehend the world around you and have the most compassion that I've ever seen in a human being.  The title of "Best Big Sister" definitely belongs to you.  You openly admit that Gabe is your best friend, you let me know when Harper "needs to eat your boobie", and ask me how I slept each and ever morning. You have such a zest and excitement for life.  This little trait makes it hard to discipline you or yell at you, because you apologize and feel awful immediately, and then quickly find something to be excited about.  You're absolutely hilarious, saying the dardnest things, and make me smile all day long.  Another big milestone for you this year was staying the night at Mom Mom and Pop Pop's all by yourself.  I'm so proud of you for that!  At 2 1/2 you were able to be away from us and know how to behave.  You also helped Grandmum and Grandpa take care of the house and Gabe when your dad and I had to stay at the hospital with Harper. We're grateful you were there to help.  My wish for you in 2012 is that you keep your love of life at the same level it's at now.  You'll turn three this year, possibly go to school and have to be away from me for a few hours a day. Trust me, it'll kill me to let you go, to see you enter the world without me, and have to navigate situations on your own.  Although I won't be by your side to help you, I'll always be with you.  I hope you know that no matter what happens in life I love you and support you. You can do it CJ, you can do anything you want, because you're smart enough and strong enough to handle anything life throws your way.    Carty Jeanie, I love you in a big way!

Marc, Pooks, MJ, my main squeeze, what a year this was!  So maybe the house we were trying to sell flooded, and maybe our new house flooded twice by clogged drains, and maybe we fought and argued more than we should have, but there was no back surgery, so that's good!  There was that one hiccup when we tired to make Gabe's baseball field birthday cake that had us arguing all over the place and not talking, we eventually got it done and it was super awesome!  We made friends this year (shootout to Julie and Jason, woot woot), bought the perfect house, in the perfect neighborhood (minus that whole iPod getting stolen, me being locked out of the house on a 95 degree day, 8 months pregnant, with a fevery CJ, and a Gabey locked inside, and the time I thought DTD FSU was in our house, robbing us), we grew as parents, as people, and most importantly as husband and wife.  Kids will push you to the edge, test your boundaries, and wear you down.  But as a strong, united front, we've remained a solid unit.  I appreciate all the times you've let me freak out, fall apart, and be down right nasty.  You never held anything against me, instead you took my hand, walked me through the troubled times, and assured me that everything will be ok.  As a pessimist in life, your optimism and good outlook has made me a better person.  We are not that young, skinny couple that met in a bar years ago, we are seasoned, healthy, happy grown ups now.  You make me a better person.  You make me a happier person.  You make life worth living.  My wish for you in 2012 is that you get back all the good you put out in the world.  Everyone that meets you loves you and it's for good reason, you're lovable!  You are truly my best friend and no matter what anyone says, even Gabe, you are my hands down favorite.  I can't even begin to guess at what this year will bring you, but I can guarantee it won't bring you a new baby!  So here's to sleeping through the night, teaching Harper to crawl and walk, helping Gabe become a man, and to guiding Carter in the world.  You are such an amazing father, son, brother, and husband.  They really did break the mold with you and every man should aspire to be as good a person as you.  I love you and this happy everafter you've given me.

Although this is a letter to the Team, I want to also thank all of our friends and family.  Our Team couldn't have had a winning season without you, so thank you.  We really are so lucky and fortunate to have the life we do and you all add to it.  My wish for all of you out there is that 2012 brings you love, joy, and all that your heart can hold.  Never pass a chance to tell your family you love them, never pass a chance to help a stranger in need, and never ever pass up a chance to be a good person.

2011, you were a roller coaster ride for sure, but you were so good to Team Patrouch, thanks!

Love always and forever,

And because I can't possibly end this without music I leave you the song that will always take me back to this year!  To little babies dancing and laughing!