I have a lot to write about, none of which I will today!
I need to write about my views on breastfeeding since writing this - Epidurals and Bottles are the New Black. Also, the baby has almost completely weaned and it is breaking my heart! Never thought I'd feel that way. So yeah, I really need to get on that.
I need to write about my trip to California to visit my best friend and her family. I need the world to know what an amazing time I had and how proud I am of my friend for being such an awesome mother. Her girls are insanely cute and well behaved and she needs to be given a huge high five. And my hubs needs a huge high ten for setting up the trip and taking care of the birds and nest while I was away. Totally awesome husband I have.
Ok, so what I am writing about today (and really I should be laying down. I hurt my back in volleyball last night, slashed my finger open this morning, and my super wonderful in-laws have the two older kids out of the house and the baby is sleeping, why am I not watching Watch What Happens Live?!) is quick. It's about a fourth bird.
Last night I watched Duets and Jennifer Nettles is on it. She is currently pregnant with a tiny little bump. It made me want to be pregnant for the first time since having Harpery. I desperately want a fourth kid. Like really, really bad. But I know it's not a good idea. We are slowly coming out of the sleepless nights, bottles, diapers, baby troubles and in to easier times. CJ and GB will be going to school for a few hours a week and I'll start to hopefully feel normal. Wait, I never felt or was normal, so maybe I'll start to hopefully feel as though I can leave the house easily. There, that's better.
It's tough knowing that I want another baby and just can't. Babies = money and time and honestly I'm short on both. Well, if we add a fourth we'll be short on both. It just wouldn't be so good if we had another.
Yes, I reserve the right to change my mind. And I reserve the right to keep feeling this way, as well. And I reserve the right to let my kids do whatever they want today since I'm feeling poopy.
Any moms out there that want another kid but know it's not in the cards? How do you resolve that in your head and heart?