Sunday, August 25, 2013

Hobo Harp

My wild woman is two!!!  I cannot believe.  We officially have no more babies in our house.  No more gate protecting the stairs, no monitors in bedrooms, no more worrying if she can handle herself around her siblings.  AND she starts school soon.

Time is flying!

Harper is our sunshine.  Her eyes are big and round, her smile even bigger, and her personality is huge. Last week when Marc came home from a business trip she practically tackled him when she saw him.  Even her love is big.

I feel blessed to have this one.  She will be the one that puts our parenting to the test, but I appreciate that about her.  She climbs on to everything, is always getting naked, starting fights, throwing tantrums, being sassy...but she is the one always laughing, always smiling, and always dancing.

Our petite little girl doesn't know she is little.  She's like the opposite of those big dogs that want to be lap dogs.  Nothing intimidates her, nothing gets her down (unless you take nail polish away, she's not too fond of that), there isn't a thing she won't do.  She's never let her size determine her actions, she's right there with Carter and Gabe, doing whatever they are doing.  She doesn't realize she's the baby.  She doesn't realize that maybe she shouldn't try everything they try.

But she goes after it.

Always going.

Always on the move.

Gosh she makes me smile.

And she is wicked smart.  So smart.

My emotions are keeping me from writing much.  My brain is all over the place today.  When I see her, I see this:


But she is really all of this:


Our nickname for her is "Hobo Harp" because as she comes across articles of clothing and shoes, she puts them on.  Sometimes it's Gabe's shirt with Carter's pants, and mismatched shoes.  Other times it's Marc's socks and my sandals.  You just never know what she'll come out wearing.

Harper baby, keep that sunshine personality, you make people smile, and I love that about you.

You're awesome.

When you were just a wee babe, I would swaddle you up, hold you in my arms, and dance to The Beatles' "I Am the Walrus".  I miss those days.  Now you're wiggly and not as interested in me swaddling you.  But at least you are willing to dance beside me.  May we always dance together!

I love you!

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Four Babies

After my first two birdies were born I immediately wanted another.  I knew in my soul I wanted more children.

After my third, nope, nothing, nada.  I didn't have that feeling for awhile.  It was sort of always in the back of my mind, but not this URGE to procreate right away.

It took awhile to show up, but it did.  And then it went away.  Much like the ocean, the waves would come and go.

Whenever I'd get the really, really strong desire, my kids would lose their minds and turn in to hooligans.  Locked up inmates. Monkeys at the zoo.  I mean, terrible little beings.  It was as if they knew I wanted another baby and they were going to act so awful I would never want another one.

It worked every time.

But something interesting happened this last go round of me wanting a fourth baby, they turned in to angels! Harper has been sleeping better than she has ever in her life (I'm sure I just jinxed that), Gabriel is A+ awesome these days (thanks Kim B.), and Carter is her usual saintly self.  School is about to start which means I'll have some alone time....whatever that might be.

So, yeah, those of you with four (I can actually only think of one sorority sister that has that many), how did you decide to have the fourth?  Did you just feel it and went with it or did it take you awhile while you thought through the pros and cons?


Friday, August 9, 2013

The Day Team P Began


Five years ago, today, I took the most important walk of my life.  I walked right toward my future.

I walked to my future of three babies, a few jobs, MANY cars, a couple of moves, a back surgery, a broken toe, a million laughs, some tears, lots of singing and dancing, and a whole lot of love.  A future of doctor appointments, OT appointments, school meetings, and late night sicknesses.  Worry, confusion, heartache and bliss, joy, and love love love.

I walked toward a future filled with unconditional love and support.  I never feel pressure to be anything but me, kookiness and all.  I never feel that I need or want anything else, because he's given me everything I could have ever asked for...and more.

I could never count the number of times he has taken my hand and led me through pain.  He held my hand during one very long labor, three c-sections, a number of colds, countless crying fits, and he's even held my hand when I've been the worst version of myself.  He's never made me feel bad about that last one.

He has made me better.  He graciously gave me his name and hopefully I've graciously lived up to it.

He's the guy that works hard all day long and comes home to a mad house.  He never complains about changing diapers, giving baths, fixing dinner, hunting down woobies, blankies, and binkies.  He has never made any of us feel like a burden.

The man I married five years ago was energetic, enthusiastic, goofy, loving, and a really good person.  That man stands by my side today and I am grateful.

I know I don't deserve his love, he is a far better human being than me, but I'm glad he's stuck with me this long.  I am not a touchy feely kind of gal but I am a talkative, wordy person, so hopefully he knows how much I love and adore him by the things I write and say.  If not, we are screwed. ;-)

Marc P, my boo, I love you!

So a guy walks in to a bar...


Wednesday, August 7, 2013

School

School starts in a month.

Ugh.

The older kids will go five days a week while my little lady will go for two days. I just know I am going to cry that first week. They are growing up so fast.  They are doing so many new things. They are getting smarter and braver. Making friends. Living and breathing without me!!!!!

WHAT?

Don't they have to be touching me at all times during the day, don't they need me to get everything for them, how will they do anything without me?

Of course they will be fine, they were last year, and they are always great without me around.  It's my perspective I need to change.

I need to be ok with this.  I need to be excited for them.  This is part of life.  You raise your kids to be strong and independent.  Granted, they are 2, 3, and 4, so they are not truly independent yet.  But this is the start.  The little baby steps in to adulthood.  I might time travel pretty fast when I start thinking about my kids.  For real though, I have a lot of time left with them.  But EVERYONE keeps telling me how fast it goes.  How you are bringing them home from the hospital one day and the next you are driving them to college.

Boo.

I did tell Marc that on the last day of school I'll be wishing they still had more days of school left. HA!  My free days will be missed next summer I am sure.

It's the most excitingly awful time of year. The excitement of school supplies, new outfits and backpacks, the thrill of finding out who your teacher is and who is in your class! I love it. And then thoughts drift in that the house will be so empty.  It will be so quiet.  Creepy quiet.  Most Saturdays Marc takes the kids to his parents.  I last until about 10 before I start looking for them to return.  I like waking up on my own time, drinking HOT coffee at my own pace, but boy do I start missing them.  As much as it annoys me that they are constantly touching me and hitting me and I am running all over the house doing a million different things, I love to hear their laughter.  I love to witness those moments when they don't know I am watching.  Them all playing together, making up games, dancing, singing, bringing toys to the one that is crying.

They are my heartbeat.  They are my white noise that I need in the background.

College, here we come.