Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Pep Talks

Lately I've had a jumbled brain. Lots of complaints, worries, anxieties, judgements, etc., scribbled throughout my gray matter. Not a good way to spend your energy. But there I was this morning, standing in the shower, feeling like a mess. (Why is the shower the best thinking spot?)

Anyhoo, that's when I decided to tell myself all the good things going on in my life. Tell myself all the good things about me. All the good things I've seen in life. I really gave myself a pep talk. 

And let me tell you, I had the most peaceful afternoon and evening. The first one in quite awhile. And after I put my kids to bed, I sat on my recliner with my Girl Scout cookies, heated blanket, hot tea, and Mob Wives. I felt so at peace. And content. Joyous even. 

Now I have some insomnia going on but that's ok because we have a two hour delay tomorrow for school. Looking at the positive. 

When your brain is full of scribbles instead of nice lines, how do you help yourself straighten them out? What tricks do you use to ease anxiety? 

And does your shower have magical water that helps you think clearer?! 

Monday, January 4, 2016

Hope

Ten years ago I was a sad, lonely, single, 26 year-old, ready for a change. One day it occurred to me that I had an amazing job that I loved, a house that was all my own, a dog who was more like a child, and incredible friends and family. Why should I be sad that I didn't have a life partner? Who cared if I was the only singlet at family events? Who cared if I didn't have a date to a wedding? I had me. And I was coming in to my own and feeling good. I was starting to feel confident and A-OK with my life.

And that's the year that everything changed. Granted it didn't happen until October, it was a great year for me. I came to realize that I was enough. I was good. I was set. Life was pretty awesome.

Then a jerk of a candidate changed my life.

I tell Marc all the time that if he had met early 2006 Emily he wouldn't have liked her very much. I was sour, bitter, and down right bitchy. When he met October Emily she was confident, happy, and at peace.  (Not to mention super blonde and super skinny! And my skin was beautiful without acne or wrinkles. I was a catch! HA!)

Here we are, together, almost ten years later with a beautiful life.

I think it's natural to set expectations for yourself, envision your future plans and imagine what your life will look like. But let me tell you, when you do that, you miss out on what's really going on all around you. All I could see was a future with a man in it and when that didn't happen I felt as though I failed. But I didn't. I had accomplished a lot by 26. And let me just add, 26 is SO YOUNG! I had the whole world in front of me, only I was holding myself back.

When I let go of what I thought life should be, real life happened. I let fate deal the cards and I played my hand. I didn't force a thing.

I was also more open to saying "yes". Yes, I'll come visit you. Yes, I'll travel to this place. Yes, I'll take on this new job for awhile. Yes, yes, yes. I even said "yes" to a guy that I thought was cute but too nice. And I kept saying yes to him, all the way to the altar.

My hope for this year is that I continue to feel confident and happy with myself. And I hope that my friends and family feel the same. I hope that everyone can find strength in their struggles, joy throughout the year, and dare I say it, I hope that I hug more. People seem to really like hugs.

Last year was a doozy, a lot of sad stuff happened. And as the pain lingers almost a year a later, I am happy with the blessings I have, with the life Marc and I have created for ourselves, and what the future holds for us. I don't know what's gonna happen but I'm open to whatever comes our way!

And I cannot forget to address the importance of friends and family. Last year, with my own family and with friends, I saw what true love means. What it means to be there for others when the chips are down. What it means to let others in during your most difficult times. And what it means to share in the good, happy times as well. I don't think we give enough credit to the laughter others bring. The joy, the smiles, the simple, beautiful times we share with others.

I love life and I hope you do, too.  Tell me, what are your hopes for 2016?!

A scene I love from one of my favorite movies. I even used a line for my senior quote in high school..."hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."