Saturday, May 21, 2016

Let's Not Forget These Early Days

So here I am, Saturday morning crying about my youngest graduating from preschool. Listening to Peter Gabriel may have helped the tears start.

Ugh.

We started at the preschool in September 2012 when Carter began in the 5 day 3 year old program. Gabe was in the 2 day 2's. Harper was home with me the whole time. Then as Carter moved up to pre-k I started working two days a week, Thursday and Friday. These are the two days that Harper went to school. Gabe went all five days as a three year old. Then when Gabe went to pre-k I started working three days a week, Harper went to the 5 day 3's.

And this past year I worked all five days in pre-k, coming in and out of Harper's class. Every morning I walked in with my baby and every day I walked out with her. This was after 4 years of taking different numbers of children in and out of the preschool and house, but I almost always had Harpie. She was the one by my side the most often. And starting next August it'll just be me. All by my lonesome. All three of my kids will be in the same building for the same amount of time. I'll have a 2nd grader, 1st grader, and kindergartener.

My heart and brain cannot handle this situation. Where did my babies go? How did all those chaotic baby filled days pass by me so quickly? Now they'll all have lunches and ride the bus. Have assemblies and awards. Right before my eyes they are growing up. And its' awesome, that's what you want for your kids, but man is it tough to digest. Our kids are close in age so the milestones rapidly hit us time after time. We pretty much were just putting our first born in the arms of strangers at the elementary school and now we are sending our youngest to a place we love with people that are no longer strangers. I'm more confident about sending Harper, I know the gig now, but I am way more emotional for this transition than I've been for the last two. And let's be honest, I was pretty emotional over them!

The baby is just different. And any parent that says there isn't something special about the baby is lying. They are straight up lying in yo face! The baby will always be your last, always be the youngest, will always get away with more. At least that has been my experience with Harper, my  youngest brother, and my husband who is the youngest. Even if they aren't physically the smallest or shortest, they're still the littlest.

It doesn't help that Harper is a tiny human and she's easy to pick up and hold and do stuff for.

And she has a big ol' smile and laugh that make me smile and laugh.

Plus she is terrifying and scares me so I listen to all her demands. She's the cutest little terrorist you ever did see.

Anyhoo, Harp is no longer a preschooler. She is officially part of the elementary crowd. My birds are flying further and further away from the nest. Sigh.

Some pics I find enjoyable...if you don't, just move along! :)

Harper's Very First Day of Preschool

All my birds circa September 2013

HRP and MJP very first day of Pre-K, 2015
HRP and MJP very last day of Pre-K, 2016

 Harp walking in with a very enthusiastic look!

 Look at those clenched fists!!!

 Tiny, tiny bird

 Our beloved Mrs. Burnett!!

 Those clenched fists again!

Mom Mom and Pop Pop

Harpie being a turd with Aunt Lor

 Grandpa came down for the big event!

My loves!

 My baby bird.

 She's a classy broad and chose the "New McDonalds" for her graduation lunch!!!!

As the kids walk across the stage the Preschool Director reads a list of answers from the kids; Harper's last answer almost sent me right over the edge:
My favorite color is Purple
My favorite thing to do at Preschool is Playing Kitty
When I grow up I want to be like my mommy

I just hope and pray I can live up to her expectations of me!

A few weeks ago Marc and I saw DMB in Charlottesville (yes, Susan, our lives REALLY DO revolve around Dave and the guys) and they performed a brand spanking new song, Samurai Cop. I couldn't really understand what Dave was singing at the time but I liked the music. The next day I got to read the lyrics while listening to the song, and well, tears.

Samurai Cop
The day you came
naked, afraid
your mother screaming, pushes you
the day you came

Oh, joy begin
lay little thing
more precious there'll be nothing, no
oh, joy begin

[CHORUS]
Let's not forget these early days
remember we begin the same
we lose our way, oh fear and pain
oh, joy begin

First, just one step
one word and then
with laughter sing, oh, life begin
first, just one step

[CHORUS]

Innocent kiss
black magic bliss
first broken bone, sudden and swift
oh, innocence

[CHORUS]
oh, joy begin
oh, joy begin



Tuesday, May 3, 2016

You'll Sing A Song and I'll Sing A Song

I've been on the verge of tears all day. Which is not really shocking if you know me, but today there were reasons. Not big ones. Maybe not justifiable ones. But there were reasons.

Part of my job at the preschool is to take kids from their cars down to their classrooms. It's actually my favorite part because I get to meet so many of the preschool families. But today was special, it was "Muffins With Mom" day for the younger kids (2 and 3 year olds). And let me tell you, little kids love nothing more than having their moms stay with them at school. They get to show them their art work, their classrooms, introduce their friends, and get to love on them just a little bit longer. It's so sweet. And the kids were SO EXCITED! It seriously did make my eyes tear up.

Later in the morning I was hanging art work in the pre-k hallway because our Muffins With Mom is tomorrow morning and I want the hallway to be bright and cheery. Well...it was a music day. So I was outside the music room listening to the music teacher and kiddos sing. I'm a sucker for a choir of kids singing. And I am a TOTAL sucker for the music teacher's voice. Ms. Emily sounds like an angel and I am not exaggerating. Her voice is beautiful. And as I listened to those angelic voices and hung artwork done by the kids I've watched grow all year long I teared up.

It just so happens that Ms. Emily is about six weeks away from having her first child. My youngest child is about to head to kindergarten. That sharp contrast was not lost on me. To think back to my first born coming through the preschool and now my last is leaving it...woah. It was too much.

It IS too much. I cannot handle all the feelings that I am feeling.

My last Muffins With Mom is tomorrow. My last preschool gift made by tiny hands will be given to me. I already know what they are since I work there but I know that I will still cry when they are presented to me. As a choir of children sing to us moms and show us around the room I will tear up. I am in Harper's room every single day but it will still feel special.

Mother's Day is right around the corner and I've been all in my head about it for a few weeks now. Being a mom is the best thing that I've ever done. Nothing makes me happier. Nothing makes me feel more confident and satisfied.

This is the first Muffins With Mom gift Harper made me. It was two years ago. Could you not just pass out from the cuteness of her face?!


Anyhoo, I have no idea why I am writing this other than to let the world know I am a cry baby and today is my day. I'm sure after I tuck my little babes in to bed tonight I will sit on the couch and cry real tears. I'll finally let it all out.

And I will have the song "You'll Sing A Song and I'll Sing A Song" stuck in my head until I finally close my eyes.